John 12:23–26 // Life through surrender // Kristy Klasa
I’ve heard it said about self-esteem that some people think too much of themselves, and others think too little of themselves—and both types of people are thinking of themselves too much. I’ve certainly found that to be true.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been deeply driven to please other people. As I get older, I can see how that’s served me well in some ways. But I’m also growing to hate this about myself. More and more, I’m realizing that some of the decisions I make as I follow Jesus are not pleasing to others. And I wrestle with those decisions far more than I probably should—for all the wrong reasons.
What will people think of me if I make that choice?
Would others say I’m living a successful life?
What will people say about my life when I’m gone?
These questions have caused a lot of distress, especially in recent years. And as I wrestle with them, the Holy Spirit brings me back to the real issue—the choice I need to make. In those moments, I have to decide who I’m living for. The cost is real. Pain is probably around the corner. But the choice remains the same: hold onto my life, or surrender it to my Heavenly Father.
In Matthew 26, we see a glimpse of Jesus facing His own moment of surrender. He is fully God and fully human. During His time on earth, He experienced real human limitations—hunger and exhaustion, fear and anguish. He knows the cross is coming. And the weight of what lies ahead brings an intense internal struggle as He faces a torturous and humiliating death. In that moment, Jesus has a choice—to preserve His life or to give it away. And thankfully for all of us, He surrenders to His Father’s will. Through His death and resurrection, and through the sending of the Holy Spirit, His life and influence are no longer limited.
We, on the other hand, are limited—even at our very best. Our bodies, our minds, our attention spans all have finite capacity. No matter how strong or smart, driven or focused we might be, we cannot produce anything of eternal value on our own. Only God can do that. And in His kindness, He invites us to surrender—to let Him be in charge and let Him have His way. That kind of surrender costs us everything we want to cling to, including the things we think make us important or successful.
Notice that the seed has to fall into the ground and die before it can produce fruit. That exchange has to happen for there to be a harvest. In much the same way, my plans, preferences, and priorities have to die if I’m going to find life in Christ and be used by Him to bear lasting fruit. As much as I don’t enjoy wrestling with my own thoughts, this kind of wrestling has to happen. There’s no way around it. There is no surrender without a battle first. And until Jesus calls me home, there will be more battles like this. In those moments, the question will still be there: Who am I living for? Who am I really trying to please? Jesus is clear in Matthew 6—we can’t serve two masters.
Enough about me. Way more than enough about me. What about you?
Question to Consider
What area—or areas—of your life are you currently clinging to, trying to control, or wrestling with God over? Are you willing to surrender it to God?
Prayer Prompt
Jesus, thank You for surrendering to the Father’s will. Thank you for giving up Your life so that I can live. Help me do the same for You. Holy Spirit, show me those areas that need to be surrendered to You.
