49 Questions for The Intentional Husband

two person holding each other's hands

Husbands, live with your wife in an understanding way…

1 Peter 3:7a

Asking your wife a series of good questions (and listening intently, actively, and non-defensively to her answers) is one great way to get to understand her better. Below are 7 categories, each with 7 questions.

What good things could happen in your marriage if, over the next 7 weeks, you took your wife on a date and asked her at least some of the questions in each category? You, no doubt, will think of other questions to ask.

It’s our prayer that you will experience new levels of intimacy in your marriage as you learn more and more to live with your wife in an understanding way.

7 Questions to Get to Know You Better

  • What are some of your favorite things about yourself?
  • What’s something you always wanted to do as a child but never got to do it?
  • What would be your ideal day and how might I help you experience that?
  • What are a few of your dreams that I might be able to help you achieve?
  • What were some things we used to do before we were married that you miss now?
  • What is something about your past that has helped shape you that I sometimes forget, overlook, or minimize?
  • What are some things you wish I would do to better show you that I truly love you?

7 Questions to Help You Explore Your Feelings

  • What are you most excited about in our relationship?
  • What are your biggest fears about our relationship?
  • What makes you feel overwhelmed?
  • How could I grow to be more understanding of who you are?
  • What could I do to make you feel more valued?
  • What are some things I could do to make you feel safer?
  • In what ways could I nurture and cherish you more?

7 Questions about the Current Reality of Our Marriage

  • What do I need to know most about you right now?
  • What words would you use to describe our marriage today?
  • What issues about our relationship concern you most right now?
  • If you could change some things about our priorities as a family, what would they be?
  • What am I doing (or not doing) that you see could be a possible threat to our family or our relationship?
  • How would you describe the current level of intimacy we are experiencing?
  • If our marriage keeps going the way it’s been going, what will it be like for us in 5 years, 10 years, or 20 years?

7 Questions to Assess Our Relationship

  • What do you think is going right in our relationship?
  • Where are we going wrong?
  • What strengths do I bring to our relationship?
  • In general, how am I doing as a husband?
  • In what ways can I improve as a husband?
  • What can I do to encourage and support you better?
  • What is something you would like us to do to invest in our marriage this year?

7 Questions Related to Our Spiritual Growth

  • What are some things I could do to help us love God more?
  • What are some things I could do to help us serve God more?
  • What would it take for me to be a better spiritual leader in our home?
  • What do you think God wants us to pray about as a couple?
  • What are some areas in our marriage where we are most missing the Lord’s leadership?
  • How could we grow to be better stewards of the resources God has given us?
  • What can I do to make you feel more confident about how we are stepping into the future God has planned for us?

7 Questions about Our Next Steps to Take as a Couple

  • What could we do differently over the next 90 days to help us take 2-3 steps forward as a couple?
  • What steps could we take to improve our dating life?
  • What are some ways I can help you around the house?
  • What steps do we need to take to make sure we are growing stronger financially?
  • What would you change to make our sexual relationship better?
  • What can I do to help you health-wise?
  • As a husband, how can I show more sensitivity to you?

7 Questions about Our Future Dreams

  • If you had three wishes for our future, what would they be?
  • What are your dreams for the future?
  • What would be your dream date night or weekend with me?
  • Where would you like our relationship to be this time next year?
  • What mutual goal would you like to see us accomplish?
  • What goal would you like to see me accomplish in life that would bring you great joy?
  • If you could see some things change about me, what would they be?