by Becca Ferguson
What does it mean to suffer well?
As we consider this big question, it is beneficial for us to frame it within the context of other supporting ideas. To understand what it means to suffer well, we must first understand what we mean by suffering and why we suffer. From there, we must comprehend what suffering does in us and to us – for those of us who know Jesus as the forgiver and leader of our lives. We also need to understand what our suffering can do in the hearts and lives of others. And finally, it’s helpful to look to the example of the suffering of Jesus Himself.
What do we mean by suffering, and why do we suffer?
In a sermon earlier this year, Pastor Joe Valenti talked about how when we think of suffering, there are a few different types of suffering that can happen to us in this life.
- There is suffering that occurs in our lives because of our own foolish choices, or the foolish choices made by others.
- There is also suffering that happens because we live in a fallen world. People get sick. People are involved in natural disasters. People are involved in accidents.
- There is suffering that comes from the Father. We know that sometimes, God allows His children to experience suffering in order that they might look to Him and trust Him, and glorify Him in new and meaningful ways.
We aren’t guaranteed that we will always know what kind of suffering we are walking through. Sometimes, we might be able to know definitively – this suffering in my life right now is a result, is a consequence, of my sin. At other times, we may not know what type of suffering we are experiencing. When this is the case, sometimes we can pray and ask God for wisdom to understand our suffering, and we can seek wisdom from others we trust. Even then, we may not receive the answers we desire on this side of heaven. But as we will see, in all suffering we are invited to look to and trust in our good God who loves us and who works in all things for His will and the eternal good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
What does suffering do in us and to us?
Regardless of why our suffering is happening – our own or others’ foolish choices, the fallenness of the world in which we live, or the will of the Father in our lives – we can know that in suffering, when Jesus is our forgiver and leader, we have the opportunity to be shaped by our suffering in a way that points us to Jesus and makes us more like Him. In suffering, we are uniquely capable of seeing our own need to rely on Jesus.
In some ways, suffering causes us to see ourselves more clearly. In some seasons of our lives, we are tempted to believe statements like, “I can handle anything that comes my way on my own,” or “I am not the type of person who gets really sick,” or “I don’t really need God to tell me what to do – I’ve got it all figured out.” But in seasons of suffering, we see these statements as the lies they always are. When faced with a wayward child, or an unexpected diagnosis, or the reality of broken relationships, or a freak accident, we see our own lack of power and we see our need for work that only God Himself can accomplish. Suffering gives us unique eyes to see reality as it always truly is. Suffering breaks us down and causes us to look up.
From there, suffering can develop either bitterness or humility in us. When we suffer, we can be tempted to say, “God doesn’t care about me – I can tell He doesn’t because of my suffering.” But we also have the opportunity to say, “God, I don’t know why You let this happen. I don’t know what You are doing. I don’t want this to be happening. But I choose to submit to You, trust You, and keep on walking with You as I pray and cry out and wait upon You.”
Romans 5:3-5 tells us that because of what God has accomplished in and through the person and work of Jesus Christ, we can “rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
In some mysterious way, the suffering of Christians creates space for a special kind of joy, because we can trust that in suffering God is developing an endurance in us that can start to shape our character. This character produces hope in us, a deep and abiding hope in who God is and in the work that we trust He is doing, and in this we will not be put to shame – because of this same love of God that He has given us in the gospel and that He continues to give us in the power and work of the Holy Spirit.
So while we don’t chase suffering, we don’t pursue it or want it – we know that it will come. And we know that when it comes, we have a God who is right there with us in our suffering, loving us and shaping us into who He created us to be, doing heart work that might not be possible in us during any other season.
What does our suffering do for others?
When we live in community with others, they see much (but not all) of the suffering in our lives. Some suffering is obvious – when suffering brings a physical change to someone’s body or a change in the dynamic or makeup in someone’s family. When suffering brings a change in status, finances, or location – these are visible things. Some suffering is more hidden – emotional pain, or a disease no one can see, or a circumstance that changed not our bodies or the members of our families but our hearts and souls.
In all suffering, the Christian finds an opportunity to trust in and point to God’s goodness in some kind of public way – with close friends, with family, or maybe even with the whole church body. And the body of Christ together can look to and worship the God who does not abandon the sufferer. The body of Christ, the Church, is even able to be the hands and feet of Jesus to its members who suffer. And the world around us, with no such script or understanding of suffering informed by the gospel, is able to see something unique, something made possible only because of the goodness of God and His design for how His people should live.
So our suffering can encourage and equip the saints, and also image the gospel uniquely to a lost and broken world.
How do we see all this in the suffering of Jesus Christ?
As in all things, Jesus is more than, but never less than, our example. As Philippians 2:6-8 tells us, Jesus, “though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”
Our God Himself stepped into temporal suffering so that we might be saved from eternal suffering. The Son, who had no need for redemption of His own, stepped into a world that rejected Him, into a world of humanity where He was mocked, rejected, and crucified on a cross for the sins of that very world.
Tim Keller once wrote, “When you suffer, you may be completely in the dark about the reason for your own suffering. It may seem as senseless to you as Jesus’s suffering seemed to the disciples. But the cross tells you what the reason isn’t. It can’t be that God doesn’t love you; it can’t be that he has no plan for you. It can’t be that he has abandoned you. Jesus was abandoned, and paid for our sins, so that God the Father would never abandon you. The cross proves that he loves you and understands what it means to suffer. It also demonstrates that God can be working in your life even when it seems like there is no rhyme or reason to what is happening.”
We learn from the example of Jesus. We are saved by the finished work of Jesus – in his life, death, and resurrection from the dead. And when we suffer with our eyes on Him, we are even able to share just a glimmer of the example of Jesus, to those around us who already know Him and are encouraged and equipped by our example, and to those around us who are lost and desperately need to meet this Jesus who redeems all things – even suffering.
- Read Romans 5:1-5 and Philippians 2:5-11. What do these passages tell us about our own suffering? What do they reveal to us about the suffering of Jesus?
- Where in your life have you experienced suffering, and how did that suffering push you away or draw you near to God?
- Where in your life right now do you have the opportunity to suffer well in a way that points to Jesus, deepens your character, and shows truth about the gospel to a watching world?
- Do you know anyone who, in your opinion, suffered well in a way that did these things (in the question above)? What about their example causes you to think, “This person suffered well.”?
For some additional verses on suffering, you can visit, among other verses: Psalm 23:4, Romans 8:18, 1 Peter 5:10, Isaiah 41:1–2, James 1:2–4, 1 Peter 1:6–7, John 16:33, Hebrews 12:10–11, Philippians 3:10, 2 Corinthians 1: 3–5, 1 Peter 4:13, 2 Corinthians 4:16–18, Romans 8:28, Psalm 34:18–19, Philippians 1:29, 2 Timothy 3:12.
