Ephesians 6:1–3 – Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),  “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” (ESV)
Proverbs 23:25 – Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice. (ESV)
Below are responses from CVC Moms as to how they prefer to receive honor.
I feel honored when my children:
- Spend quality time with me
- Offer me words of encouragement
- Give me a heartfelt note or letter
- Do what I asked the first time and do not give me any grief
- Tell me they love me
- Show gratitude and appreciation
- Make a card, make a meal, or do something nice for me
- Confide in me and share what is going on in their heart (hurts, struggles, goals, failures, achievements)
- Choose time with me rather than just in their rooms or on their devices
- Show godliness, kindness, and empathy towards others. It’s a sign to me that I did my job well raising them in the way they should go.
- Are following Christ. It brings the greatest joy because I know we will live together in eternity. It is honoring to me because, despite my many shortcomings and mistakes as a parent, they still somehow see Jesus in me and believe.
- Listen to me and when I don’t have to repeat myself 100 times.
- Hugs, always hugs
- Call for no other reason than to just connect, and say “love you” before hanging up
Below are a few thoughts from CVCer’s on how they have tried to honor their moms despite abuse, addiction or absence.
I try to show them honor by:
- Reaching out at holidays even if it’s not appreciated or received well
- Remembering the things I learned from the good times and laughter
- Viewing her mental illness as a cause for her behavior vs her behavior as an attack on me.
- Still buying and sending a card for special occasions or “just because”
- Forgiving them
- Not speaking ill of them, and praying for them with hope that one day we can have a restored bond.
- Still praying God sends someone else to share the Gospel with her despite my somewhat hard heart, and God faithfully answered my prayer!
- Caring for them in their sickness and final days
- Forgiving her and remembering she was struggling just like we all are.
- Being a good representative of the family name.
- Making sure my words and actions are respectful, regardless of past abuses.
- Maintaining a relationship, take her out to dinner, call regularly, let her know I love her. All these activities are done with set boundaries in place. My mom still deals with issues but my wife and I show her that we love her without putting ourselves in harm’s way.
- Staying in contact, doctor visits, nursing care, holidays despite betrayal, despite condemnation.
- Being a good mom to my kids